FTX is Dumber & Biden's $105 Billion Request

Heyo, reader! We hope you’re having a good Saturday morning!

Fun Fact: Did you know? The platypus is so busy being unique, it skipped having a stomach! 🦆💼 That's right! Food zips from its throat straight to its intestines. No tummy time for this critter! 😂🍔➡️

2️⃣ This Morning’s Two Reports:

• 🤡 FTX Trial is Dumb and Dumber

• 💰 Biden Requests $105 Billion for Global Security

✂️ Market Snippet

• DOW: 🔽 0.86% (33,127.28)

• S&P 500: 🔽 1.26% (4,224.16)

• NASDAQ: 🔽 1.53% (12,983.81)

• BTC: 🔽 0.16% (29,635.00)

• ETH: 🔼 0.0012% (1,604.42)

*Stock numbers as of market close, cryptocurrency as of 8:55pm EST yesterday.

🤡 FTX Trial is Dumb and Dumber

In a surprising twist, prosecutors in the trial against FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried are comparing defense arguments to scenes from the classic comedy "Dumb and Dumber." 😂 The defense claims that FTX clients had a "credit" even if the actual funds weren't in their accounts. Sound familiar? That's because Jim Carrey's character once said IOUs are “as good as money.” 💼💸

TL;DR ⏳: Prosecutors in the Bankman-Fried trial say the defense's argument is like saying IOUs in a briefcase are just as valuable as real cash, referencing a hilarious scene from "Dumb and Dumber." ❌

💰 Biden Requests $105 Billion for Global Security

President Joe Biden is putting his chips on the table, requesting a whopping $105 billion for security aid that spans from Ukraine and Israel to our own U.S. southern border. 🌏 Most of the budget, over $61 billion, is eyed for Ukraine, followed by $14.3 billion for Israel amidst its conflict with Hamas. Biden's not forgetting about home though, earmarking $6.4 billion for the U.S. border and $1.2 billion to tackle the fentanyl crisis. 🚫💊

TL;DR ⏳: Biden's pulling out the big bucks, asking Congress for $105 billion. 💼

⚡ BulletList Roundup (10 Headlines)

1. 📜 Kenneth Chesebro, Trump-supporting attorney, admits guilt in Georgia

2. 🗳️ House GOP rejects Jordan for speaker role after third attempt

3. ⚖️ Maryland judge tragically targeted following divorce and custody ruling

4. 🛢️ Navigator abandons carbon capture pipeline project in Iowa

5. ⚖️ Supreme Court halts limitations on Biden's push for social media post removals

6. 🕊️ Hamas frees American hostages, Judith and Natalie Raanan, amidst ongoing Israel conflict

7. 🚢 Finland points to Chinese vessel in damaged pipeline investigation

8. 💸 U.S. deficit skyrockets to $1.7 trillion, doubling in 2023

9. 🐦 X (Twitter) to introduce two subscription levels, announces Elon Musk

10. 🎬 George Clooney and fellow stars pledge $150 million to resolve actors' strike

Tricky Trivia answer: Sputnik 1

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